~DoWncaSt~

Morning peeps..

i'm feeling very deeply down..

what i've planned before i came here, has vanished..

i didn't planned that i would feel lost.. i didn't planned i would be this sorrow..

i didn't planned i'm gonna have a close guy friend..

I didn't assign for any post in any clubs..

Myplan is.. stay my head focus on the game..

No any disturbance...

Ya Allah.. kuatkanlah hambaMu ini...

Jgnlah ujianMu ini akan memberi efek kpd pelajaran ku..

Niat ku hanya satu..

Belajar dan grad..And have a nice job to support my family...

What we planned, hardly follows as we plan...

I'm not strong enough to deal with this...yet

i'm not the type of person who share my sorrow with others...

i'm not like that..

The only therapeutic for me to engulf my sorrowness is only by writing...

How i wish.. i could let it out...

How i wish.. at first place.. I'm a decent person and not that outstanding so that i could follow my game plan..

I'm speechless... One thing my request..

Jagalah hubungan baik kami Ya Allah..

Hanya Engkau Maha Mengetahui apa yg ku rasakan saat ini....

I never cried this often....

sedihhh.. penat.. tak larat.. tolonglah

~enigma~

Hey there folks. I just wondering why? Why suddently things change drasticly.. What are the caused that trigger this changes.I wonder. But whatever his action. I believe he has his own reason.. I do need an explanation!!! Arghhhh... It's not i can't focus.. But yeah.. people ussually said ' jiwa kacau'.. WOW!!!

Change is needed.. A gap is needed.. So do an explanation though. enigma... Life.. Karma.. Fate all has it links.. Yeah..

~Veiled~

Dear bloggie, ahah.. it's been a while haven't updating my blog. Well 4 the entry i would wish 4 the Muslim 'selamat hari raya qurban'.. On top of that, best wishes and best of luck in our upcoming xm for FKG-10. 6 days left. Wow.. time is running past by though. Very seldom i would post something about feelings and what i feel. Ussually i'll kept to myself only.. But dunno why, out of sudden my hand easilly type..

I've fallen for someone. Haha.. How? Who? its undefined. At first, i try not to fall in love with anyone. Because, the least that i could do for the 1st year in USU is try to stabilize myself either in study nor my life. What could i do. I'm just a normal girl that have feelings. Still, i prefer to kept it to myself and have a control on my feelings. If i said, i'm not jealous when other girl approach him, that would be a lie. Honestly, my jealousy is beyond my capability. Time to time i manage to control. I love when he ask 'are u ok?' how r u doing?' although it is just short and simple ques, i appreciate it a lot. Coz the small things like that matter we ussually take 4 granted. Human tend to forget the small pieces of intimacy in life.

Everytime i'm praying, I would say 'jagalah hbgn baik antara kami'.. We as human could plan ahead, still Allah the one who decides. We could done our best, pray and tawakal~ Ya Allah, berikanlah hambamu kekuatan

~green-eyed~

Hey there people who attached and not attached. Mr and Mrs. The one who loving and to be love.

Today i felt a little weird though. Have u felt that way before? It's like, you know something is not right, but

u can't detect what it is actually. Hurmm.. Neither do I. Well, first i have a confession to make!!!

Exam just around the corner and ussually this thing will came up during this period. Which is.. affection.

Yeah. Covetousness has engulf me. Why now??? I hate people who stalk my blog.. Please stop

it.. They ussualy will be named as silent reader. Hurmm...

Lately, seldomly i text with him. Seldomly we chat.. I din't mind at first. Sometimes, i'm tired of pretending i have no feelings towards him. Infact i do. Intimancy. BUt who am I to exagerate? And share the same feelings? It is major early for me. Rationally Yess. Haha..

I'm no one ecept with my name on Siti Filzah. Yeah. I'll be me all the time. I do feel

covetousness. I can't help it. Please make me calm at all time Allah.

Let it be.. Let it flow...

10.10.2010

Hey there folks.. People who in loves. Individual who cares about their friendship than love. A person who appriciate their life and whoever in between them. Good morning. How u guys catch up with this world? Full of karma, and hectic? As the title has been type, what are so special about today? Or i could say about that date. Since almost everyone is excited about it. There is no doubt, today dates gonna be a history or momentos for those who will be husband and wife.. A couple.. Birthday nor any event that are related.

As for me? Today is the day that i could loosen up. As a dentistry student who studying abroad (indonesia). This is the only day i could pampered myself because today is the only day i don't have any classes. U bet!! its sunday!!

I've been wondering, day by day..Year by year.. had passed. Most of my favourite bloggers is not active. Which is, some of them has already close their account and some of them rarely post anything in their blog. Why?? ASk yourself.. There's no way the reason is 'i run out of ideas what to write'..Nahhh.. In our daily life, there's A LOT to share. So to every bloggers do update your blog.. +'+

This past few days, i feel downcast. The main reason is because there's a little misunderstanding going on between this lecturer and us. Uhhh just to think of it.. My blood burst to the max. Damn her!! Long came short, we have to score full marks in our exam in order to pass. HAhA... WTV... i don't care..

Everything that my beloved ones opinion or thoughts really could impact me A LOt. Like, "blaja elok2 jgn buat malu kami je.. anta blaja jauh2"

Arghhhhh.... pfft.....

Shoot!!!!!!! i was like...I feel want to die to know, to read that comment. Arghhh.. with just those words, i could be a different person. Gloomy.. Moody.. tired.. My mind easilly get tired if i stress bout this. At the end, i'm not continuing my revision. Instead i sleep. Yeah the most medcine that efficacious for me is by sleeping. I hate it.. Not be able to concentrate and do something worthwhilefor myself!! The exam is just around the corner. Hack i din't study anything at all.. Damn it!!!

Iwant ice cream!!!! really..really.. want it now!!

Still there's some people could make me ease. Altho just by chatting with them.. They are Amanina zawani and Badiu.. Yeahhhhhh.. Long live for u both.. A true friend.. Love u both..

May Allah give me strengh to deal with this matter..

~ AdvanCed~

Good Afternoon men and women, boys and girls and anyone in between. How are u guys catching up with your lives? Still in good condition and full of vivacious in you?

Latterly, me and my housemate spent a lot of our freetime played futsal. It's fun+tiring+make our muscle cramp and sore. Hehe.. That is because within almost 7 month i haven't train my muscle in sports activity. The main thing make us so passionate bout futsal is.. PKPMI held futsal game on 17the Octtober 2010. We as junior batch 2010 ull of exuberant start practicing. Haha.. More! we bought futsal ball itself. UHuh... Albeit, not only futsal we played. On the contrary, we played badminton last 2 night. WOW!! frankly speaking I've never went out at night for amusement. Plus arrived at our house around 11 ++pm... Ahah... Thanks to our senior Badiu who inform us bout any activity they having.. Thumbs up!!

The thing that bothers me is. We the FKG will be sitting our examination on 17th October 2010. Thus, I'm dilemma whether i'm gonna join the team or not.. Uhuh..

Like always i have tones of other things to share with.. Expecially bout the 4 letter word.. L.O.V.E..... Somehow i;m not in the mood to do so.. DON't know why. LAtely i felt tired. Arghhhh... please laziness shuh2.. go away from my life. I can't afford of the consequences being lazy. MAma i'm sorry. Virus of laziness slowly injected my spirit.
Allah please make me strong and exuberant like i use to. Amin..

~ConFession~

Hello there boys and girls, man and woman. and everyone in between.(sounds familiar?) How are you people holding up for your lives?(familiar also). Its Friday, 24th September 2010. The weather is piece of mind yet its drenched. Yeah.. Its been a while since i update my blog. Sorry folks.. Day by day.. I have lots of things to write on but time is envied... Heeee... Enough ofthe entry...

As the title had been decided.. So i've hav a few things to confess.(sounds serious)
Life in Medan as always parched and full of obstacle. It's not easy to live in other people country expecially in Indonesia. To justify of what i've said, as all residents in Malaysia known alredy. We (Malaysian and Indonesian) have crisis. Well that's the beuty of living in others land yeah. I have to get use to walk under the rain nor under the hot sun yeah. Last 2 days. The beca i ride.. The tyre run flat. Ahaa.. in middle of raining. Thus we have to pay the Pak Beca still. Extra somemore from what we've agreed before. Because of we have empathism. Yeah.. No never know what other things could happen to you.

1st year aim is.. to apply and own a scholarship. So that i wouldn't burden my beloved ones. Im sorry to my family expecially my dearest mom who willing 2 sacrifice just to make sure i could further my study in dentist. I owe u a lot. A LOT... infinity... I miss my family genuinely trully.

I have this idea. Always twinglling in side my head.. Heee... I wish to buy nor have a property. Such, land and house. Albeits, the price of houses nowdays gradually increase. Yeah.. I don;t know weather i have the money to buy a house for my own. Yeah....

Life as always.. Has its own unrevealed mysterious path. We as a normal human being. We never know's what is waiting for us ahead. Like people said, 'we could plan everything nicely and organisely still Allah who decides which is which." Personally, love is undefined. You never know weather his the right one foru or not. So, i'm choosing let it be. Just follow the flow. No forcing nor rushing....

Love my life... Appriciate my life.. Just 5 years more.. Than InsyaAllah.. I'll achive my goal in life when i'm 25 years old. No one know's what people dreamt off...

Its late though.. Although i have blass of ideas 2 share with. Still InsyaAllah.. we still have 2moro.
Hold on tigh folks.. to ride a roller costerand went through all the dirts before you reach your own destination.
Have a blass day...

epilogue..

Hey there folks, girls and boys, attached or not attached, loving or hatred.. to all of u. Welcome to my epilogue. When i'm at Indonesia for the 1st weeks. I always said to myself that if i have a broadband, i will update my blog frequently. In contrast, it doesn't happened at all. currently i have my own broadband. Thus, it shouldn't be a problem to online. Maybe because of my lazziness nor busy studying i hardly find the time to networking. Hurmmm... Well enough for the blog entry i perhaps.

This is the fasting month to all Muslims. May Allah bless us for what we're doing. And the thing that we're going to do for the future. Next week is my test. Which, it is on next friday. For this month all FKG(fakultas kedokteran gigi) batch 2010 learn bout the basis of being a dentist. The subject are, agama, kewarganegaraan, kebudayaan. Basicly we've learn bout the Indonesia history and culture. Yeah.. trust me, it's freakin bored!!!! But for better or worst i do have 2 concentrate to those lecture though. Just imagine, within 3 days we'd finished our agama lesson. WOhhhh.. I was like.. Dude!! i have to study this thick book within 2 weeks only due to the upcoming test. Likewise, there;re still other two subject that i have to study within 1 week!!! Just imagine that!!!!. It is totally nightmare if i don't have any clue what are the answer for the test.. Urghhhh...
In indonesia, we still have class on saturday. Our rest day is only on Sunday. hurmm.. Thus, for malaysian students do appreciate ur saturday.

I met a few seniors that very mischieves. yeah.. They were like gave all the tips to live in Medan. To master our subject. It's very enjoying to hear from Malaysian seniors. Her name is Faimah, 4th year student. Talkative. Cute. Sweet. Exuberant.
Another senior is Tuan Muhammad badiuzzaman. his name is long!!!! He's like a guidance. His physical appearence is cool that most of the girls dream off. But the inner part of him. Makes me respect him all at once. In otehr words, full of sifat-sifat mahmudah . yeah.. There's a lot words to describe his character. But let it be..

My mom, she's at home recovering. She's fine.. Just have to take note on what she's taking for her meal. My beloved sister, is currently in her exams week. Best of luck to her. My papa busy taking care of my mom and still go for work as well. HOHO.. when the guy get married. prepare for all this!! Full of responsible as a husband and dad.

I wish i have something to write bout my foster dad. But i really don't have a clue to write on.

that's all from me i guess. Have to continue study. Pray for my success my friends. Bon Voyage..

what a day

It's the second day of fasting month. I hope it's still not late for me to wish all of u happy fasting month.. May this year and upon it Allah will bless us. Amin...

2nd day of fasting month., I'm not allowed to fasting due to mentrual. 1 hour before break fasting, that the only time i know. How unlucky i am. Haha.. Otherwise i would be able to eat something. Oppss..

Today. The day that everything happened so fast. I couldn't even know is it today or yesterday the yhing that happened to me myself.

Let me introduce to all of u how does the system work in Universitas sumatera Utara (USU). FKG( dentistry) The new system were used since last year which is 2009.
heregoes. It's called block system. As if, we have 2 study 1 subject only throughout this whole month. After 3 weeks, we have to sit for an examination for the whole topic we'd learn. 1 thick book we have memorize all the surah2 and hukum2..
woooshhh... 2 weeks left then for me 2 study.

This morning.
I were placed in group 8 in agama lecture. Thus, we are the last group to present the last topic of agama. Which is Kedokteran gigi. Plus, In USU everything is BI( bahasa Indonesia). Presentation. Tutor and etc..

YES!!! the Indonesian felt it's funny and we sounds so weird when spoke their language. Who cares.. My 1st impression towards the Indonesian student is exuberant. They full of thoughts+ opinion+question. i amazed.. I respect that!! They will ask any question although aminny tiny question. for us it is not an important. But they have their own voice!!!

THIS EVENING!!
As it written at the top of this post. I cant fasting. still i followed my housemate to ramadhan fare. According to ain( 1 of my hsemate) there's a near ramadhan fare just around the corner. Thus, with full of confident. I only bring 20K rupiah, luckily. If not, i'm thinking just to bring 15K. haha...
For 15 mins we walk through the dirty road. We found nothing at all ramadhan fare. Then she started to ask mr beca to took us to the remadhan fare. Without planning or knowing where we going. all of us jump into the beca. Long story came short. It's freaking far from our house. Else, i didnt bring any identification card and my hp. GREAT!!!
We arrived at the destiny IStana Maimon ( ramadhan fare). Then we decide to go to Medeka walk caused at that time it's raining cats and dogs. Hurmmm... arrived, my meal cost me Rp 20 300. Haha,.. even my friend have to lend her money to pay my meal. we went back by taxi. Without any cash with me. In 1 taxi 8people.. Nice right.. The thing that i want 2 share is that. It is an experienced to eassily get lost with short of cash with u. At night. all girls. raining cats and dogs. The road flooded. Hi 5 girlss.. we are save.

Just now, i've been inform that my mom will undergo minor operation. To remove her bile duct. I'm sure it is cost way much expensive. I didn;t ask forsure. I'm hoping everything will go smoothly and nothing ba dwould happen to my dear mom. Love u Mom.. u are everything for me.. and our family.

Till then from me folks..

u never know..

Continuing our entry. In Indonesia it's 1 hour late then Malaysia. Thankful that i manage to recall back which shop she went. We walk about 1 km ahead after the 'beca' drop us at one place.
Yeah.. I have to ride 'beca' to go anywhere that is not in walking distance. My house is not in USU but near USU lol. Thus i have to ride beca or 'angkut'~ its like a van though the angkut. It cost me Rp 2000=Rm0.40. Beca Rp 7000=Rm0.65

I'm able to online easily caused i'm in Sun Plaza shopping centre. Plus we're ate at Mr. Pancake they provide free wifi. That's the best!!!!
I will go back for Lebaran which maybe on the 6th or 8th sept. Nevertheless, i have to apply again my Visa. That would be very troublesome for me plus in Lebaran.
I'm overwhelming when Fara aimira offered to post some money. Hahaha.. don't worry guys i'm still healthy as always infact i eat quite frequent than i'm in Msia. hahhah.. I love u girls laa...

Khairul hanif.. still in love...........
i was like wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! that is so long man.
like I said u never know when someone love you deeply and sincerely. 3 years is not a short time though. Yeah... i respect him for that. plus i give respect to him caused he bought his own gadget. woot..woot..

Love triangle. How it feel??
I wonder how.. hurmmm.. U can't blame yourself if you're in that position. True or false?
i've been in that position???

Till then..
love and kisses to my family and my besties.

i'm here

Hey peeps.. As always, it's been a while. I'm here. which is Medan, Indonesia. I haven't start my class yet. All dentistry classes would be start on next monday. All of us ( international) student having hard time when it comes to medical check up and registration. Because here, most of the people lack of disciplined. SERIOUSLY!!!! like pfft....they cut queue. Pushing.. they raised their voices when they told us how the system work at there. They didn't respect to each other.. Fuhhh.. I could list all the bad or worse thing happen in here till night i guess.. But the heck. New environment, new place, i'm new in this country. In order to go in the bright side u'll have to face the darker side first yeah. 'before u walk at dawn. u have 2 go through the night first"

The weather is almost the same as Malaysia. In contrast, the air pollution is 100% worse then Malaysia. The traffic is better then vietnam ( for those who have been in Vietnam) but less develope like Malaysia. Honestly, when u at different country, u'll start comparing ur beloved country and the country u'd stayed. Frankly speaking, Malaysia is the best country ever. U could find so much food~ Arabians, western. asia, japan~ all of these easily get in Malaysia.

I'm not regret of choosing this path. Absolutely!!!! Just have 2 adjust here and there and study. I'll be fine. Right now, i'm trying not to compare and complaint. It"ll effect ur mind and (semangat) ahhahha...

I'm staying in double story house, It felt like i'm staying in bungalow. Yeah. RM 3000 yaw! one year. Expensive yaw... Plus, it doesn't provide us free wifi!!! darn!!! So i guess i'm gonna buy broadband though. We( my housemate) hae to pay Rm 1100 just to get the line. Then we have to pay per montly the wifi. IF WE WANT THAT TO HAPPEN. I was like h**l no!!!

In a good way, the things is quite cheap around here. Hrmmmm...
I'm having difficulty in drop a cmmnt to some of my friend blog. So, i'm sorry guys. I do not know i cant. Because of wifi or what.. huh.. Before this i never have a hard time in online because ussualy I use my house streamix. Damn fast!! No need to wait. Well just have to adjust myself. I'm not gonna die just because of the small things.

Currently, i only take a real meal on the evening. Breakfast~oat. Noon~ usually didn't take anything or just a biscuits. Evening~ noodles or rice. Night~ it depends.
I really have to saving meanwhile to wait for my acc no.

i wanna write more. But have go somewhere else. Help my friend to find her original certs in fotostat shop... crazy rite!!!! till thn..

Inception..Journey

Yesterday, went to Indonesia ambessy-KLCC-KTM (ride it by my own, alone). I went to the Indonesia Ambessy to make my visa. Yeah coz i'll be staying there for years right. Thus, i really need it to ensure that i'm not an immigrants!!! that is totally correct fellas. I'm going to depart from Malaysia LCCT at 12.50 noon. Next wednesday.

So, after half way done the Visa( halfway coz i need to come back at the Indonesia ambessy at 4 pm that day). Then, since i have a date with the handsome perfect E0S, it's a camera belong to Hanif.. I then take a cab to Klcc. Arrived at 11.05 am. Yeah that early. To watched INCEPTION!!!!!!! yeah... Well, my plan is abit altered because of one of my new friend followed along. The reason is she do not have any idea how to go back. So I as always lend a hand. Most of the time I chat with her. still i manage to chat with him in the movie. Due to my slow brain to interpret what actually is going on the scene.

Leonardo dicaprio's stay dashing as always. He seems never get old, wrinkle. Nothing.

Christopher Nolan his the writer, director that so genius. I've never seen this kind of movie. It's so amaze me. The idea of how dreams can change everything. Dream in a dream. Inception meaning start or beginning. Then Cobb- leonardo Dicaprio's try to the max level. dream in a dream by level 5. Wow huh..

After the movie ended, It still make me think at the end of the story, Is he in dreaming? And my head is a bit not in straight. Yeah..

After the movie, he went to his praying. Me and her going back 2 Indonesia Ambessy to collect our Visa. Unfortunately, we're in hurry so we just keep asking the cab driver how much it cost us to the Indonesia ambessy.

Cab driver 1: it cost rm 15. This the cheepest u could get coz the way to that place is jamn. If u choose cab behind u. U might get rm 30. So how?

me: Argh!! no way. the journey took us less than 5 min plus if u follow the meter it is less than rm5! ( which i said it in my mind only)

cab driver 2: rm 10. u want to??

me: huh.. we're in hurry so just gamble. fine rm 10.

Then after 100% finished bout the visa. I sent my friend to the ktm 1st since she in rushing and i'l be going home a lil late. Considering i actually haven't spent and chat with him and play with EoS. Then after asar praying we went to A&W. He ate his meal. I play his camera. Plus when the moment i touched the long lenses. It's our moment togather.. ( background sound-taraaaa...) Exagerate! The lens, the body. So perfect!!

Then i try some shot indoor. But he said it's not enough light though. Thereupon, we went to the park shot some picture. It was so nice and perfect if he didnt laught at my shot!!! So, i just enjoy the snery and the nice weather!! I learn 1 new thing. penning. I guess the spelling is correct. yeah i was planning to do that on a train or ktm om the way back home. But change of plan. I have to stop at wangsa maju which is opposite train with hanif. Thus i didn't have the chance to try that technique!!!

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.... I'll be missing the whole thing. Left few days only.. Huhhu.. Bye Eos.. bye hanif.. Aman, Wida, Fara, nazrin9who willing come all the way back from Penang just 2 hang out with me n other today), Afiq, Ifan!! appriciate that guys.. I loveb all of u so much!!!!

Vanish

As the title written. I'm gona vanish from Malaysia about 1 week left. Caused i'm going 2 study abroad which is Indonesia. Course: dentistry
And the best part is i just told my bestfriend that i'm going to Indonesia next wednesday.
Fara is piss off caused according to her i tried to keep this away from her and the others. I admit there. i do try to hide from u guys. My beloved one.

1) i do not know how to tell u guys

2)i wonder how u guys will respond

3) i just totally afraid if anything would go wrong.


i'm sorry for those who i'd hurt their feelings. I love u guys and girls so much ( Amanina, fara aimira, wahida, anip, nazrin,ifan)
Well i havent tell wahida, ifan, afiq bout this though. Yeah. And today, Aman find out through nazrin i think that i'll be going. For sure she's sad caused i'm her bestfriend. Didn't tell her either.

To day also i receive a lot. Let me repeat a Lot calls from my beloved ones, Mashi, Logesh, nazrin mizan.
~ logesh " is my friend from my kasturi tuition. He is Indian. Study at Uniten. The place that my sis currently study right now. His taking Electronic engineering. He is a fun young man. Fluently speaks malay without any slang. I miss him so much!! i mean so much!!!!

~ Mizan: known him from fb. Well his study medcine in zagazig. In holiday. Thought meeting him.

**********************************

1.26am-The plan for this morning is drive my mom to her work. Me and anip will go Bsn to withdraw some cash. Then to PKNS to renew my passport then we gona watch movie. Which is INCEPTION. He's the one who choose it . THen chit chat and hang out. Well i do the driving he just should give me company. Caused my mom didnt trust me drving alone. So i Figure out that khairul hanif is free, Why not.

In contrast, the other way around. Looks like my relatives held to our place and sleep here this noon. So, me again have to be at home. Waiting for them. I was so pissed off.. Caused i've been saving my outing day 2 wnet out with my friends and chill out before i hit the road or rather 'the air'. So we pospone( i do not know how to spell it right) to watch movie on thurds. Hope it'll went well..

I'm so tired... need a long nap. night then...............

THE day

Hey there peeps. Sorry for took a long 'nap'( didn;t update my blog for a while). Well, it's not because i'm busy or whatsoever. Just didn't have the mood to write. Ok then enough for the excuses. Let's get to the main topic here.

THE day is refering to the day i went out with one of my best buddy Khairul Hanif last thursday. Just to watched Eclipse. We could skip about the Eclipse epic story yeah. To make this story become short but full of the main idea. Here goes....

I'd been informed that i could further my study in Dentistry field for 5 years. In Universiti Sumatera Utara,Medan, Indonesia. Thanks so much i've nail the entrance examination. Howbeit, i was offered medcine instate of dentistry coz my marks is better qualified for medcine i gues. Still, i choose dentistry. The person incharge said i could change my course 2 dentistry if i want too.

Evey joy has to come with the misery package. WHich is, i have to pay by myself for the 1st year study fee and the accomodation and etc. So, my mom paid the amount by herself. Well with my beloved Papa also contribute some amount of money. But My real dad, didnt contribute anythg. Even cloth and other things. Huh.. hate talk about him though. Even so, the money have to paid is freakin large amount. Fuhhhhhhhhhhhh... I owe my mom alot.
So my goal is:

1) Get 3.5 for my 1st year xm.

2) Study till i puke

3) KuatkN SEMANGAT

4) keep in touch with my dear frined.


i'm getting sleepy lol.. it's 1.47 am. well another day fellas...

test..

hey.. it's been a while. so currently i'm preparing myself to the entrance examination of University Sumatera Utara. Yeah.. I just get the past year paper though which is today.

The question is mostly topic that i've learn from matriculation.

And i'd get help from hanif,aman, nabil..

Mostly nabil help me out in math..

His really good in math. Or i could say chemist also..

And yeah, Danial called me yesterday. We just chit chat and all.

Acap came 2 my hse 2day. My cousins and my sister were at home. He just stop by just to say hello and chit chat for a while. He want to show his new hemet.. Yeah/..

The thing is, He will drop by whenever he bought a new thing for his bike. And i'm the one who know's it..

hahah.... till then.. have 2 study ..

money..

Halo..Halo...
It's been long period though i haven't update my blog. Yeah..
Well.. a lot of things had happen through out this time..

~ My mom get herself into hospital. She has gallstone in her bile.
~ Thus, it caused severe pain at her abdomen.
~ She have to undergo minor operation though. But she refuse to receive the treatment.
~ coz she want me to settle down with my U.. To make sure money is enough for me to further my study.
~ wow!! right!! that's a mother.. loving.. soft hearted.. willing to sacrifice anything just to make sure everything that planned.. is going well..


I do love to further my studies in dentistry though. love it..
But the only chance to grab that opportunity is by register myself in global medic network.
yup..
it is expensive though.
1st sem i have to use my own fund.. i mean money.. that's a lot of money need though..
this is what burden me..
can i have it?? or just take the courses that i've been offered i the UPU. huh..
The result of UPU hasn't out yet.. still.. it burden's me..

If i have money.. if i have that.. My mom shouldn't be worry bout me and her health..
She could receive the treatment without hesitate...

ARGHHH....

let the time tells...

wondering...

The facilitator planed a trip to genting though end of june.
And i do not whether 2 join or not..
2moro going 2 alamanda with my sweet friends..
Going 2 watch Prince of Persia.

*********

I wonder.. If i reach my life til 40's..
How much dinner do i have 2 make for my family,
How can i eat the same thing year by year.
Human always doesn't satisfied what they have,
what they earn,
Life could be interesting,
If we know how to colour it right,
How to embrace our life..
regardless how hard our life,
How much encumbrance we had..
it will flow the right way.. like we want..
Love my friend.. my life..

Till then..

KMS

Well, KMS stands for (Kolej Matrikulasi Kedah)..
I was one of the facilitator 2 the new students, 1st batch of KMS.. Yeah..
!st batch. I'm so honoured 2 b the 1st faci.
It was tremendous proicient for me..


***************

Well i wouldn't say, it was held in organize way though.
Coz we are not enough manpower with us,
Our commander is Megat ahmad Danial B. Mazalan.
yeah.. his the type of always go on although we have some obstacle.
He know how to do the talk..
He is truthful.. especially with the lecturer..
enough of him..


****************


and yeah.. i learn how 2 handle D90.. cool huh.. its fun though learn with Sir Wahidi..
I learn so much.. boutbhow 2 search for the right angle.
I could handle 300 students..
Well beause of i'm the assistant of the Vega block..
I made o lot of new friend..
Yeah from all over malaysia. hehe
And there's student get my no.!!

Till then,
Going 2 hit the shower here..

just in mind

It's 3.30a.m I woke up suddently. Do not know why. Well apparently the mosquito that suck my blood bring me to reality from my deep slumber. Yes! I killed 6 mosquitoes though. Despite the weather is dreadfully hot and dry the whole day. I'm soak with sweat when i woke up.

I wonder, it seems the world have come to its end. On account of the pollution occured through out this whole world. It then trigger global warming, the ice at north and south pole starts to melts extremely in alarming rate. We should preserved the Earth. Love green. I wish i have an air conditioner though.

its called something...

Dear bloggie, it's been awhile right now. I've read my dearest friend post, i trully love what he wrote." when u love someone,even if they dont accept u,a small piece of ur heart will always be with them even when theyre gone."

It is absolutely true. Me myself having a difficulty to forget 100% my sweet memories with him. Yeah. Whenever i look in his page, It hurts.. seen him happily with his partner. That's me.. It tooks time to forget. But still, how fast i ran, how calm i am, how long it takes me to forget all the memories.. Still and all, atleast a piece from the memories will remain inside me myself.

I could conclude this one important thing in our life. All OF us

know life is like a ferris wheel, we cant control our position, Whether

at the top or at the bottom. Howbeit, it's our fate. To find a life partner is very hard. You have to accept the goods and the bads of yiur parner without any whinning nor affliction. To find the one, you sure have been through some serious relationship. Every journey we took, there's always a new relationship created without been plan. Every relationship we going through have their own story to tell. Yeah..........
being love n fall in love with someone is hard. To trust someone 100% is arduous.

Right now, appreciate what you have. Appriciate every single moment you have with the loves one.................Every journey, it tells its own story. Full of sweet n bitterness. Thats life.

1 year.........

One year had just fly by. I already finished my matriculation programe 2 weeks ago. Somehow, this laziness of me engulf, made me hard to write anything in my blog. Sorry. It's my weakness. I could write a whole page long of my experience been a matrics student. But i'm not in the mood of it.

So maybe later..

one time

Dear bloggie, i haven't write anything lately.. Not because i don't have anythig to story about. just don't have the time to do that.

I'm very sorry for aman. Takziah foe her and her family. Her dad just passed away 3 days ago. That is the reason why i came back to Selangor. Just to see her and to comfort her.

My exams just around the corner. i'm so cuak right now. I really want to study right now, while waiting for acap finished his jumaat prayer. But i can't focus.. To much to think of.. Man life is always complicated.

Well, 1 week before, me,fiqa,alwani and zira hang out with nazrin and his friends. Yeah it's so freakin fun n full of enthusiasm. I went there to buy someone's birthday present. Someone special. Yeah... I bought topman and from somerset bay for my beloved sis nana!!!

Well, i never fell in love deeply before.. But now we are just friend. It is toturing but i'd could accept it. My priority now is study .... study.... and get myself into U and the course i wanted to. Life must go on.. I just hate when i'm alone, then i'll start to think about the unnessasary thing. I hate when i'm expecting a text or call from him. I hate this feelings so much.

2 day to go i'm alone in this house. I want to study with u guys!!!! waaa.... Never mind, anything for aman. I'll sacrifice..

LOVE my honeybee friends at kmk and my bff.

undefined....

Dear bloggie, as writen on the title my feelings right now is undefined. Don't know how to describe it by words.. Do not know.. whether i'm mad, full of despair, exuberant,tired of lies,................

Why almost all men out there is caring and sweet talker. If they always.................. hurmm.. my mind can't translate the informations or thoughts...

Hanif, i do agree... this feelings make me hyperventilate. Relationships is hard. Its like breathing with no oxygen supply. Yeah.. I hate this feelings. It's torturing!!! It's not fun having this kind of feeling you see.

eNlightenment..

Dear bloggie..
I couldn't illustrate what i'm thinking right now. As if, I want to write all the thoughts in my head at one time. Let us follow the hierarchy..

About my real dad:
Hurmm.. His physically just like me except he his a man in his late 44th. I could say he his now a very successful man, husband, father. Yeah.. although i never stay with him ever within 19 years.. Well what the hack. I didn't mind at all coz i have my loving stepfather!!! I stay with my mom and him since i was 3 years old.. yeah..

So, he his (real dad) ..

1. Before this he has problem control his anger, couldn't manage his own life.

2. He has been cheated. In a lot of ways.. business.. in personal life..

3. He really have his ups and downs. Years ago..

4. He work hard to gain this position.

5. He extreme dislike wasting. Food expecially.

6. He earn Brabus! It cost like 1 big banglo i think.

7. He has his own company!!

8. He has everythg right now. A happy family..


Thus, conclusion is...
every single person will change from worst to good, Good 2 better, Better 2 great!
But still every person in this world could change from great to worst. Believe me there is.
Infact,
My perspectives now has change towards the people who easily out going and hang out types. Just to let u know, most of the people who doing the bad and unmoral thing is the goos and innocent face. Yeah so snap out if it.. don't judge a book by its cover. Don't be fool around. get to know him or his more first.

Life do complicated..
life doesn't always go how u planned it is..
Life is short.. enjoy yourself but draw the line.. do not exceeds the line.

Relationship is totally complicated..
You do not know who's the one for you..
You do not know what will went wrong or right in the future..
You do not know if u choose the wrong person..
The only thing that u could do is.....
Let the times tell,
let it flow through you..
Let it be..

p/s; Do appreciate all people around you.. Do love them as much they love you.

Genting trip...

arrive at the Awana hotel





we ain't ride that..





4D place






Shoot by emal with the big camera






we're in reindeer cruiser




At skyway station





Floating huh..




1st day in indoor games




Excitation face 0+0



dear bloggie,

we went to genting last thursday n friday. It went well and trully enjoying.. let the pictures tell you the journey and the story. 2days 1 night. RM 44.30 outdoor theme park+skyway ride up and down+bus. Rm159 1 night per room. We ate Tuna, sardin, bread. My family bought cake for our friend birthday paan. Fiqa bought cake for him oso, secrets recipe u noe.

later...

an eye opener..

Dear bloggie,





I do not know why i feel so suffocated... life is unpredictable.. u cant control yourself.... obviously im being despair here... do not know why..do not know what is the reasons behind this. Really.. I just find out and conceive that we could not be the person we want to be. i mean not being ourself just to make other people happy.I try to done that, it felt like i'm living in a lie. Yeah it felt in a cage. There's no oxygen supply. I can't spread my wings flape through the blue sky. it really felt nice if u an eagle. U own the sky!!!!

I love being me.. myself.. siti filzah.. warmth heart loving person.. its me.. just me and my lovers.. when i use my sis account for FB. I add my kmk peeps. I found that they really like to 'broadcast' their daily lifestyle and their loving story to public. For me it is dangerous to let other people know on what your doing and with who.. It is just not right using your Fb just for that reasons. They should do something relevan bout the technologies provided.(i sound really melancholy). I am...

new ifo

Did u guys know that sugar is one of the main source(sumber utama), so it is trully valueable now. Since we short off sugar. So There are other alternative producing sugar which is from stevia ( a herb). Wake up we are running of sugar, that is why the market price has increased.

other thing..

Why are guys like 2 be a casanova or pretend to be a nice and gentleman.. toward the girls. And pretend they are single but THEY ARE REALLY NOT!! I hate lies.. i hate made up story. i hate to be the person who show my sympathy toward the people who shouldn't deserves one..

Ok i need to do my notes.. later..

yesterday.....

Dear bloggie, So yesterday... It was fun.. aman join us skating. Guess what she hurt her buts.. ngeee... I'm not supposed 2 help her get up coz she waiting for this cute and gentleman 'abg' to help her out.. Honestly, i also felt like want to fell off my buts..ngee... But seriously he is really cute and does have a nice smooth move.

The people who came is aman(mybff), fiqa,ieqmal,farhan,fiza,rin.... Yeah and there's 1 guy i duuno his name coz he is fiqa's senior..

So, i and aman went for widow shopping. We found this kardigen?? ( i do not know what it called) It is eye catching and cost Rm60. For us it is way too expensive though.

I cant upload any pictures!!!!!! i think my camera memory card had been infected by virus.. wawawawa......

my pLan iS.....

Dear bloggie, me and my kmk peeps will hang out at pyramid doing ice skating and other stuff.. Yeah other stuff on this monday..!!!!! i'm so freaking excited bout it... And on this thurds and fri we will be going 2 genting!!!!!! My family will be following us.. coz they help us book the hotel and all...

I am so going 2 enjoy my hols!!!! yeepy... but cant wait 2 hang out with hanif and aman... l.O.V.E uguys.........

i don't kNow wHy....

Dear blogggie, why why why why we cant having a normal relationship?? just like boys and girlfriend.. hving fun and enjoy our teenage life.. It is so hard to stay single without affect other people feelings... it is so hard..

Well apparantly my dear friend Danial ask me the question to me.. Tonight on 9/1/10... i have to say no.. there it started.. i hurt his feelings.. and now he didnt reply my text.. great..

this is for you..
genuine to you..

Life is like a farris wheel...
full of ups and down..
full of colour...
full of passion...
full of love inside it...
But there's still sweet sour of it...
strong taste of sweet, sour, bitterness...
It is not simple and easy as u think....
Not always run smoothly as u plan...

love is undefined...
u think its sweet..
still there are sourness inside it...
u'll never know what awaits u ahead..
u can't predict the future...
u'll never know who ur partner would be...
everything is possible...

Thus.. for above reasons...
i couldn't make up my mind...

it's HoLs tIme!!!!

hey.. hey..
I'm back!!!! I'M back for 2 weeks.. Thank god.. i could least rest after the exams..
A lot of things going on.. I haven't have the time to blog out..

Let me start 2 weeks be4 our UPS examination. Well OBviously every single person is busy revising and finishing up their assingment.. So at that night i was in my friend room (fiqa). We were busy revising.. Than on 11.30pm suddenly we heard sum1 screaming 'kebakaran.. kebakaran..' For a second i thought its true. But then there are a few girls said it's just a fire drill training session. So me, fiqa, ziera,alwani..we were blabbering.. ' hesy nak wat benda nie nie mlm 2 buta.. da la esk schedule full.. hesy ntah pape ntah..'

So, we went down to the gathering place of block B residents. And i just realize i'm from block C residents. Then i ran to my gathering place.. Well i was caught up by warden.. Damn.. I have 2 explain and apologized. Fine..fine.. don't care at all..

So after the checking up all the residents attendants. Allof us are force to 2 dataran. Long story came short: We saw a shower meteor, than 1 girl suddenly starts 2 screaming.. And then the fire fighter, ustaz, and a few boys including Idris stats to AZAN and recite ayat kursi and other surah.. But then things are going out of control. coz this things is spreading rapidly throughout the girls. We we're ask to go to masjid.untill 1.30 am the THING won't stop. For those who wasn't infected we're ask to go 2 our room ad recite surah Yassin. b4 we went 2 bed.

Nasib baik i'm not 1 of the infected girl. So we we're ask to went back by group. We did.. Thus, i have 2 take all mystuff n books the next morning at fiqa's room. All of us tried not to talk about that. Jangan Tegur la katekan..
For the rest of that week. we are forbiden to go out of our block after Maghrib. and right now things went well..

chiow2..